.....

what is with me?

i just want him to know who i am, who i've become and who i wanna be. i just want to be comfortable but then again, there's not way i can do it on my own. i am a lost soul. i sold myself to those whom i believe to know me. i am a wrecked ship. i was once known but forgotten all along. i am blind not to see this coming. i was too gullible to believe in all his lies. it was too soon to give in but not too soon to give up.

i just want him to be proud but it was too late. i am broken and torn and i've nowhere to turn to. i am a nobody. i am a no one trying to be someone. so lost, so lonely. maybe promises doesn't really last forever. it was all a game. it was all a risk to have everything. i tossed the coin and had it on the wrong side.

i just want him to understand me. the REAL me. i just want him to appreciate me. i guess it's too late.

i just want him to know. i just want dad to know how much i love him. but i just want to give up. i can no longer run. i can no longer stand up. i just want to fall down. 

if only he sees me.

if only he could.