all about my birthday

24 April 1988

Your date of conception was on or about 2 August 1987 which was a Sunday.

You were born on a Sunday
under the astrological sign Taurus.
Your Life path number is 9.

Your fortune cookie reads:
You will have a very pleasant experience.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447275.5.
The golden number for 1988 is 13.
The epact number for 1988 is 11.
The year 1988 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/17/1988 and ending 2/5/1989.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Beaver; your plant is Wild Clover.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Epipy, the third month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 7 Iyyar 5748.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 8 Iyyar 5748.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.14.17.11 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 14 tun 17 uinal 11 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Sunday, 7 Ramadan 1408 (1408-9-7).

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.79491193737769 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Friday.
Your lucky number is 6.
Your ruling planet(s) is Venus.
Your lucky dates are 6th, 15th, 24th.
Your opposition sign is Scorpio.
Your opposition number(s) is 9 & 11.

Your birthstone is Diamond

The Mystical properties of Diamond

Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Opal, Quartz, White Sapphire

Your birth tree is

Walnut Tree, the Passion

Unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromises.

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was in its first quarter.

terms

doubt
leave
trust
rip off
addiction
weak
gullible
fear
ready
hurt
burden
rejection
broken
life
tiresome
death
numb
LOVE?

why do they say that they are afraid to lose you when most of the time they just tend to hurt you?

boredom

asa work walang ginagawa is equal to boredom. napanood ko na ata halos lahat ng movies at sawa nako manood. isa lang ang feeling ko ngayon, nasusuka nako. di ko alam kung epekto to ng ininom namin kagabi or pakiramdam ko lang to.

currently eating tuna turnover para mawala lang yung feeling na nasusuka ako. hay. kung pwede rin lang nga isuka nararamdaman ko ginawa ko na e. pero anu bang nararamdaman ko? tanong yan nung friend ko kanina, sabi ko diko alam. i feel weird. di ko alam gusto ko. kung anu TALAGA ang gusto ko. kaya nga kung pwede isuka, isusuka ko nalang.

grabe. feeling ko andami ko na nagawang walang kwenta ngayong week at sana nama (**cross fingers) hanggang ngayong week nalang. luluwa na ata mata ko sa sooooobrang internet. wala na kong napapala. puro nood, puro browse, puro update.

eto ata talaga nagagawa ng boredom. kung anu anu na nasusulat ko. pinakahonest na ata yung 2nd and third paragraph (if you call that a paragraph)

.....

what is with me?

i just want him to know who i am, who i've become and who i wanna be. i just want to be comfortable but then again, there's not way i can do it on my own. i am a lost soul. i sold myself to those whom i believe to know me. i am a wrecked ship. i was once known but forgotten all along. i am blind not to see this coming. i was too gullible to believe in all his lies. it was too soon to give in but not too soon to give up.

i just want him to be proud but it was too late. i am broken and torn and i've nowhere to turn to. i am a nobody. i am a no one trying to be someone. so lost, so lonely. maybe promises doesn't really last forever. it was all a game. it was all a risk to have everything. i tossed the coin and had it on the wrong side.

i just want him to understand me. the REAL me. i just want him to appreciate me. i guess it's too late.

i just want him to know. i just want dad to know how much i love him. but i just want to give up. i can no longer run. i can no longer stand up. i just want to fall down. 

if only he sees me.

if only he could.

enough

i just want to stop fooling myself. i fought the same battles everyday. i pretend that everything's gonna be alright. i smile from the outside and i get rotten on the inside. i just want to live.

am i too weak to let go or am i to strong to fight for this stupid feeling?

how i wish i could be numb. i just want to be somebody else for one second. i want to hug myself and give myself a pat on the back whipering that everything's going to be alright.

if only i had not chosen this. this whole thing would be a lot better. if i had made the right decisions, i should have been happier. 

as if i care

go ahead, take me out. the hell i care if you take away everything. you are not the god of this world or my world anyway and i do not care if in any case, you won't give me anything. i told you right from the start that i do not like you. so DREAM ON!

you don't know how happy i am that you took me out. you don't know how much i enjoy the freedom you gave me. you just gave me the thing i wanted the most. my very own FREEDOM. i'm free from all your thoughts, all your manipulations and stuff, you don't know how much happy you made me. i'm so free!

i am free to fly again. you caged me, you tried to put me in a box but then, you can never have me. no matter what you do, no matter what you tell them, I WOULDN'T CARE!