dying...

What would you do if you were told that you're going to die in a month's time? I was thinking of doing several things but let me share to you special things I'd like to do.

One would be spending time with my father. I would ask him out and treat him to dinner. I would talk to him about everything. How my life went, how I fought and continued the fight. I grew up being close to my father that eventually developed a gap between us. I really don't know what happened and everything happened all at once. I would talk about how our relationship went that we were once close to each other. I will apologize for all the things I've done. All the words said and left unsaid.

Another thing I would like to do is to go to Canada and spend time with my mother. I would thank her for all that she's done for the family. The strength she showed. The dreams that we shared. The tears that we shed. The sacrifices she made. She was the one who taught me how to fight. She molded the person in me. She made so much impact on me. I would never forget how much she trusted me even if the whole world turned its back against me.

I want to thank several friends. Those who have rejected me and those who accepted my flaws. They helped me keep up with life and its challenges. I am weird as I believe it, experiencing different mood swings, who would want to be my friend? They treated me with love and care. They are always there especially when I need them most. I may not be able to give them back what they did but they never demanded. That's what I love most about them.

And finally, I want to thank one special person named Oliver. He made me feel special in different ways he wouldn't know. He made me feel accepted and loved. He made me believe that distance isn't a problem, that distance only made us a little closer than we thought we could be. He made me feel respected, the one I long for. He made me trust him and myself as well. The person I want to spend my time with. He will always be a special person to me.

If I would die soon, I would like to do these things first. I would like to tell them how much I appreciate and love them. Written words aren't enough to show these people how I feel. They would just know, they would just know.