FREEDOM

and you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you FREE

ever experienced a situation wherein you don't know whether you're right or wrong? why does honesty hurt so much that it tends to ruin a person's life? is it because one can not accept what is real and happening? or is it because they're afraid of the consequences that they need to get through?

i am always afraid of the truth. i am always dreamy and imaginative thus, reality isn't really my bestfriend. i consider myself weak. i can hide myself under masks of various kinds. i always have hard time making myself realize whatever that is real and hapening.

"Everything i did was sincere... i just woke up one morning and i just realized that i really like you..."

i ran into this incident where i got my self forced to tell what i feel eventhough it may hurt somebody else. i got nothing else to do but tell him or else i will get myself buried alive without having an escape. he told me that every single thing that he did for me is sincere. how could i believe him? i really don't know him and worse is, i choose not to know him. i bluntly told him that it is better for us to be friends.

"Kung pa'no ko sila ituring, gan'on din lang yung sa'yo..."

that line never got out of my mind ever since we talked. that was may 24th, just last wednesday. it was around 2 in the morning. i cried out of the blue not knowing what to do or at least what to say. i know that i have to do something before this gets out of my hand.

i was afraid at first of what to say, "gie, iiyak talaga ako.. di ko lam kung anung sasabihin ko.." that was my line day before i got the chance to talk to him. gie even told me that i should speak up, that i should tell him.

i think i did the right thing but i guess, it went worse than i think it would be. things get a lot more distorted nowadays. i feel good for i have at last started the fight of telling the truth of whatever that they should know. i feel good that at last one BIG burden got out of my chest.

oh well since i started it, i certainly believe that at the end of this writing, somebody out there is still afraid to accept it.