nineteen and getting old

i have lived nineteen years of my life. i can say that somehow i have changed.

i feel different everytime i speak -- a few years back, my mom would often call me tactless, i always blurt out whatever that comes to my mind even if would hurt them. i carried that attitude til i was in highschool, i corrected people when i wanted to, i just speak my heart out. That experience made a monster in front of everybody around me. they saw me as someone who nearly knew it all. They even called me BONAKID. it was really an awful experience but then, i thank them wholeheartedly for they told me and my BIG mouth to shut up a bit -- i'm a bit quiet now, although at some point i'm still that obnoxious little girl trying to make her stand.

i also feel different when i act -- i recall when i was still in the stage of transforming into a lady (i was thirteen then, i think) i was often loud and bubbly, "i could bounce anywhere" as Kuya Alvin would describe me. i was alwasy full of energy, people could not keep up with what i do. if i were to describe myself back then, i would say that i'm jolly but people would often call me NAUGHTY. i was always fond of playing a game with everybody. -- i may have turned into a lady, but that doesn't mean that i have outgrown the bully in me.

finally, i feel different when i think. they say that when a person grows up, he thinks complicatedly. Maybe because they get to see what the WHOLE picture looks like, unlike a child, a lollipop or a band-aid would be enough to solve his problem.

i may have grown a bit. i may feel a little tactful, a little demure and a little responsible but i will always be the person who'll rock your world. Ü